Crimson Phoenix
by Dracyllion
Summary: Nanoha is critically injured in an ambush when returning from a reconnaissance mission, and has to go through rehabilitation while her friends can do nothing but watch her struggle. Takes place two years after A's.
1. Prologue

**Crimson Phoenix**

This story contains very minor spoiler(s) to those who haven't watched StrikerS 09 yet (or read the manga), so consider yourself warned. Although it's nothing much, anyway.

So, why did I decide to start writing this story? Ever since I watched StrikerS 09 I've wanted to know more about that incident where Nanoha very nearly died (2 years after A's). I'm hoping there will be more of it in the future episodes, but while waiting, I thought I might as well write about it myself.

Oh, and since this is my first fanfic, feedback along the way would be much appreciated. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Nanoha series nor any of it's characters.

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**Prologue:**

It should've been just another easy mission for both Nanoha and Vita. There shouldn't have been any problems, yet something...went terribly wrong. How could something so simple turn into something so nightmarish in the flash of a single moment?

On their way back to the Bureau from a reconnaissance mission, Nanoha's and Vita's group was ambushed by a group of renegade mages. They had been flying for an extended period of time and everyone was getting a bit tired, so Vita soon came up with a plan to quickly handle the situation. _"Nanoha, we'll get them packed together, so blast them with everything you've got left, okay?" "Okay, Vita-chan." _A quick exchange of mental messages and everything would be over soon. Or it should've been.

It didn't take long for Vita and her team to gather the renegade mages more or less together and all that was left was for Nanoha to shoot them all down. She had already positioned herself far above the renegades and was just waiting for Vita's mental message to reach her. _"Okay, we're ready here, shoot them down!" _

That was her cue. "Starlight..." Huge amounts of magical energy started amassing at the tip of Raising Heart. It didn't take long for the mass of sizzling magical energy to grow large enough to be able to take down the whole enemy unit. "_Vita-chan, I'm going to shoot, get everyone out of the way, please." "Okay."_ After giving a mental warning to Vita she then proceeded to release all of the gathered magical energy.

"...Break-" _THUMP_ Before she could finish the command, an unimaginable pain shot through her body causing her to yelp in both suprise and agony. It only lasted for an instant, but even that was enough to disrupt the flow of magical energy through her body, resulting in a devastating explosion of magical energy as the unfinished "Starlight Breaker" backfired on the young mage sending her plummeting towards the ground at alarming speed.

Hearing the sudden explosion Vita turned towards the direction of the sound to find bloody Nanoha falling towards the ground, her clothes in tatters. At first she was too suprised by the unexpected sight to even react, but as soon as she recovered from the initial shock, Vita started speeding up towards the falling Nanoha, mentally ordering the rest of her team to take care of the renegades as well as call the medics. It was a close call, but she managed to catch up to Nanoha just in time to save the young girl from crashing into the ground.

"Nanoha! What happened? Nanoha!! Answer me, Nanoha!! Don't you dare die on me!" Tears started forming on the little girl's eyes. "Vita...chan?" Nanoha's eyes opened just a little. "It seems like I...screwed up a little. Are you...alright...Vita-chan?" She tried to put up a smile, but ended up grimacing because of the pain. "Nanoha! Hang in there!! The medics...Where the hell are the medics?!?" Vita was clearly starting to panic as Nanoha's eyes closed again and she drifted into a blissful state of unconsciousness.

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	2. Chapter 1: Guilt

**Chapter 1: Guilt**

"How is she?" Fate asked the doctor in a worried tone, while looking at her dear childhood friend lying on a bed in one of the TSAB's medical rooms. "Her life is no longer at risk, if that's what you mean", the doctor answered while reading through his notes. "She won't, however, be waking for a while and considering the damage to her body, it is highly probable that she might never fully recover."

The doctor lifted his eyes from the notes, looking straight at Fate and Hayate, while saying this. Fate immediately turned pale upon hearing this and Hayate's face gained a pained look. "Is there nothing we can do?" Hayate's eyes pleaded the doctor, but he merely turned his head to avoid her gaze. "It's still too early to say..." He sighed and continued: "But the real problem here is that this whole incident was caused by the stress her body has accumulated over many years of reckless use of magic. In other words, her body could simply not keep up with the continuous stress. So when she tried using "Starlight Breaker", a spell that uses huge amounts of magical energy, her magic circulation system couldn't take it and went haywire causing the spell to backfire."

Both girls' faces darkened upon hearing this. "In the worst case scenario" continued the doctor, "she might never be able to walk, much less fly, again." This diagnosis made the two girls gulp loudly in shock. "But..." Fate started, "Flying is Nanoha's life!" Hayate continued. A looming silence enveloped the room.

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Vita quickly jumped up from the bench she had been sitting on, waiting, when the door to the medical room where Nanoha was currently being held opened. She rushed to Fate and Hayate, concern clearly showing in her eyes. "How is she? Is Nanoha going to be okay? She'll be okay, right? Right?!"

Fate and Hayate shared a pained look, but not wanting to worry Vita any more than necessary Hayate forced a brave smile on and said: "She'll be just fine. We all know how tough that girl is, don't we?" She gave Fate a meaningful glance. "Ah, yes, if it's Nanoha, then there's nothing to worry about. She wouldn't die from something like that."

Somehow, Vita knew they were just trying to comfort her, but she also wanted to believe that Nanoha would pull through, no matter what. And so she allowed herself to be dragged along by the other two, after taking but a quick peek into the room Nanoha was being held in. It was only a small peek, but even then it was almost enough to break her heart, seeing Nanoha in the condition she was in.

After lunch the three of them decided to rest in the lounge of the medical facility Nanoha was being treated at. No one word had been spoken during the lunch, and even now the atmosphere was far from relaxed. Suddenly, Vita started crying. "Sniff...It was...my fault...Sniff..." The other two were taken aback by her sudden breakdown. "Vita-chan, what are you saying? It wasn't your fault. You did all you could." "But...Sniff...I...I told her to do it. I...I never though something like this...Something like this...Waaaaah!"

Vita was now crying loudly, despite Hayate's best efforts to calm her down. It was turning into quite a scene, and people around the lounge were already giving them looks. Of course, it wasn't all that unusual to see people crying in the medical facility. After all, those that needed the special medical facility were more often than not in a life threatening condition, and not all lives could be saved, even with the advanced technology the TSAB possessed.

After a while Vita finally calmed down a little, but to avoid unneccesary commotion, Hayate thought it best to get Vita back to their quarters before she had a relapse. And since there was nothing the three of them could do for their dear friend at the moment even if they stayed, they left the facility for their own rooms in the personnel quarters.

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Later that night, Fate woke up from nightmare, tightly clutching the bedsheets with her hands, her whole body covered in sweat. She had had trouble falling asleep thinking of Nanoha, and the feelings of guilt she had been harboring since meeting Galder, the doctor in charge of Nanoha.

The doctor's words still rang on her ears, making her feel nauseous. _"But the real problem here is, that this whole incident was caused by the stress her body has accumulated over many years of reckless use of magic"_ Fate tried to stop thinking, but the voice inside her head didn't go away. _"You got her involved in all this. You! Because of you...Look at her now! You should be the one lying in that hospital bed, not her!_

She tried to block her ears, but it was still there. She closed her eyes, only to find out that it made the voice even stronger. She couldn't rid herself of it, and what made it worse still was that Fate knew why. The reason it didn't leave her alone...was because she knew it was right. **She** had dragged Nanoha into this world, and now Nanoha was paying the price. The price of Fate's selfishness. "Oh god...I'm so sorry, Nanoha! So...sorry..." Tears trickled down her cheeks, but she didn't even notice them.

Unbeknownst to Fate, there was another person who couldn't sleep that night, also haunted by her feelings of guilt. After having seen the worn-out Vita to bed, Hayate had stayed up to work, but after few hours of no progress she finally gave up on work and went to bed. Only to find out she couldn't sleep.

She recalled the conversation with Nanoha's doctor, Galder, and his words: _"In the worst case scenario, she might never be able to walk, much less fly, again." _Hayate had known Nanoha for long enough to know she absolutely loved flying.

She recalled an occasion where she had been on a mission together with Fate and Nanoha, and after succesfully completing the mission they had spent some leisure time in the sky, enjoying the freedom to the bottom of their hearts. That day...Nanoha had looked so happy she was practically radiating. Hayate could still remember her smile from that time.

Normally, that memory would've made her smile no matter how much stress she was under, or how matter down she was feeling. This time, though, it brought tears to her eyes. For she knew it was her fault Nanoha had ended up like that. After all, the "Book of Darkness"-incident had forced Nanoha to push herself way behind her limits, all in order to save Hayate, her knights, and Earth, Nanoha's, as well as hers, home planet. Even if it hadn't been the only reason, and even Hayate in her guilt-consumed state realized it probably wasn't, there was no denying that the incident had had a major part to play in this tragedy.

That night Fate and Hayate were both unable to get any sleep from their guilt, and Vita, who had collapsed from physical and mental fatigue earlier, experienced that horrifying moment of Nanoha's fall, over and over again in her dreams. It was truly a night ruled by darkness. And that darkness would not simply vanish with the coming dawn.

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I sincerely apologize for anything that might seem a bit off. I was inspired to write this by StrikerS, and it's been a while since I watched A's so...

And if you do find such parts, feel free to inform me, and I'll see what I can do.


	3. Chapter 2: Struggle

Okay, so here we are, Chapter 3. It's a fair bit longer than the first chapter. I made the paragraphs significantly shorter to make it easier on the eyes. (I also shortened Chapter 1's paragraphs, as well as did some minor corrections.)

There's also more about Galder (the doctor, remember?), who's an original character of mine, in Chapter 3. He didn't actually even have a name when I first started writing, but after giving him a name, I just had to give some depth to his character. (However little that is.) I'm also thinking of using him in future works, but as always, only time will tell.

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**Chapter 2: Struggle**

Darkness. It surrounded her from all sides, a total, silent darkness. At first, there was nothing else, just the darkness, quietly embracing her. _Am I dead_? That was the first thing she could think of, as her consciousness slowly started awakening.

"Doctor, I think she might be waking soon." A voice entered the girl's half-conscious mind. She tried opening her eyes, but for some reason, it felt like her eyelids had been sealed close. Frustrated by this discovery, she tried to bring her hand to her face, only to find she could not. Concentrating on moving her hand, she was able to flex her fingers, but that was the extend of it.

Not being able to move her hand, she was starting to panic a little. The panic then caused her mind to become more self-conscious. She tried to calm herself, but to no avail. The panic spread, and it awakened the pain that had been sleeping under the cover of her unconscious mind.

The pain started from her chest, and slowly spread throughout the body, finally reaching her legs which was when the pain reached it's peak, forcing her mind to fully awaken. The girl's eyes shot open and she started breathing heavily, trying to bear the sudden pain.

"Ah, finally awake?" Hearing the voice from near, the girl turned her head towards it, still fighting the pain. What she saw was a tall man with shoulder-length, light brown hair, wearing a white coat. The room they were in was rather small and unwelcoming. The walls were painted white, and what little space there was in the room, was taken up by medical equipment.

Turning her attention back to the man in white coat, the girl voiced the first and foremost question in her mind at the moment. "Where...am I?"

The man gave her a bitter smile before answering. "Just what it looks like, a medical facility. You had quite an accident during your last mission and were brought here." She had already figured as much from her surroundings, but as her mind was still quite a mess, she needed the confirmation.

"Um...How long have I been here?" That was the second thing that came to her mind. After all, she couldn't allow something like this to get in the way of her work. "Only for a week. But you really should get some more rest for now, you know. Your body is still quite a mess."

This news shocked the girl. She had been out of it for...for a whole week?!? She tried getting up, only to be stopped by the horrid pain that shot through her chest. The man's blue eyes flashed behind his glasses. "Hey, hey! Don't even think of getting up yet! Your body was severely injured in that accident. Just take it easy for now, okay?" The man's voice somehow got a forceful tone to it, and the girl unwillingly lay back down.

"Good girl. Just try to get some rest for now, and we'll see how you're feeling tomorrow." With those words, the man turned his back on her and left the room leaving the girl alone with her thoughts.

_A whole week, huh? It's been a whole week..._ She was now deep in thought, the pain having subsided after she lay back down. _I was in an accident?_ The thought seemed weird to her. Ever after having joined the Bureau, she hadn't had a single accident and now she was told she was in a hospital bed for having been in an accident.

The girl tried her best to recall what had happened, but no matter how hard she focused, she couldn't remember a thing._ Sigh...I wonder how the others are doing. Hayate...Fate-chan...Vita-chan..._ That was when it struck her. _Vita-chan and I...We were..._

Images started flooding into her head in such a forceful manner that she felt like her head might break down. Images of herself, Vita-chan, the renegade mages, Raising Heart, the explosion, Vita's worried face, teardrops hitting her face, and finally...darkness.

When she regained her consciousness again, the first thing she felt was the throbbing pain in her head and legs. _At least my arms aren't hurting..._ She bitterly thought. The pain brought up the memories of the accident. _My Starlight Breaker...backfired?_ She was dumb-struck by the thought. Such a thing had never happened before, neither had she ever heard of such a thing.

_I should probably ask someone..._ Thinking of the possible reasons for Starlight Breaker backfiring, she was able to ward off the pain until the sweet darkness once again engulfed her in it's blissful embrace.

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It had already been one and half weeks since Nanoha's accident when Galder, her doctor, finally declared she was well enough to be having guests. Although she still occasionally experienced pains, especially in her legs, and was in a pretty weak condition overall, it seemed like the worst phase had passed.

Despite the doctor's words of not getting out of the bed for months, Nanoha was already looking forward to returning to her work. Little did she know, though, how far away all of that still was.

Fate was the first person to come visiting Nanoha after Galder finally allowed her to see her friends. Nanoha, who had been reading a book Galder had brought for her earlier, lifted her gaze from the book when she heard the door open. "Fate-chan!" Her voice was full of joy, being able to see her dearest friend for the first time since being hospitalized.

"Nanoha..." Fate was also glad to see her friend, even more so seeing how much better she had gotten in such a short time. She did, however, know that even if Nanoha was acting all cheery for her, she was still hurt.

"How are you feeling, Nanoha?" Fate asked, concern clearly showing in her voice and eyes. Nanoha rose to a sitting position, although the position made her legs ache a bit. Of course, she wouldn't let it show on her face, not in the presence of her dear friend.

"I'm just fine. See?" She gave her friend cheery smile. "I see. That's good then. But just don't overdo it, okay? I know you tend to shoulder everything by yourself, but it's not good for you. If you ever need anything..." Fate took Nanoha's hand between her own hands. "Okay?" Nanoha felt the warmth of Fate's hands and words, nodding slightly, "I know." She flashed another smile to her dear friend.

While seeing Nanoha chatting happily, even making a few jokes, soothed Fate's worries somewhat, she still couldn't help but feel that her friend was only putting up a brave face. _I wonder if she's been told yet..._ Fate thought, looking for anything that might indicate that the girl knew about the condition of her legs. But no, Nanoha was her usual, cheery self, if a little more social than usual, which was only natural considering she had been in a hospital bed for one and half weeks.

"Fate-chan? Is something wrong?"

Nanoha's voice pulled Fate back to earth, and she quickly regained her composure, not wanting to worry the injured girl in any way. "Oh, I'm sorry, I kinda dazed off. Eh heh...Sorry."

In the end, Fate ended up staying with Nanoha, until Galder had to come and literally drag her away, claiming that Nanoha needed to rest. After they were out of the room, Fate's expression changed to a more serious one.

"Have you...told her yet?" She asked him. Galder flinched a little under Fate's intent stare, but replied calmly, "No, not yet. I wanted to observe her recovery a little bit more before telling her."

"When are you going to tell her, then?" Galder shrugged at the blonde's question, "When the time is right.." Fate's face darkened. "Wouldn't it be better not to? It'll be too much of a shock for her." Galder snorted, "And let her keep up false hopes?"

Fate's eyes jerked up at this and she raised her voice, "False? But you said it wasn't certain!!" Galder sighed, "No, it's not certain that she'd never be able walk again. However, it is a highly likely scenario. It's been one and half weeks, and her body has started recovering at a very high speed. Except for her legs. I don't know why, but her legs aren't recovering the same way the rest of her body is. She might be able to walk again, someday, but the way it's going that would be years away. And as more time passes, it becomes less and less likely for her legs to ever return to the way they were before. No, she has the right to know."

Fate felt like she was being crushed by the meaning his words carried, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She felt so powerless, unable to do anything for her closest friend. She quickly turned away to hide her tears, and hurriedly started walking away.

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After Fate had left, Galder returned to his office after making sure Nanoha was doing fine. He felt exhausted, but he didn't let it stop him from continuing where he had left off earlier.

He, Galder Haerlorn, had been working for the Bureau for more than ten years ever since joining as a medical trainee in the age of 17. He had had his share of hardships, but what had kept him going was his resolution to save as many lives as he possibly could. So far, his record was almost perfect, which was the reason he was often called whenever a high-ranking member of the Time-Space Administration Bureau had ended up in critical condition.

This case was no different from any other. Or so he had though, when he had been ordered to see to it that Nanoha Takamachi would survive. The order had come from somewhere pretty high up, but to him, it was inconsequential. After all, he had dedicated his life to saving others.

It didn't matter to him, whether the people he saved were high-ranking members of the Bureau or not. To him, they were all just people that deserved his attention. Deserved another chance at life.

This one had been a close call, though. The girl had been in a horrible condition, and even with his knowledge and expertise he'd thought the case lost. Suprisingly though, the girl had proved stronger than what Galder would've expected from one so young.

And so the combined strength of Galder's skill and the girl's willpower and recovery capabilities had been able to bring her back from the cold clutches of the grave. Galder had never experienced such a miraculous survival before, and it had had a great effect on him.

While the girl was unconscious, Galder would stay with her, talking to, and encouraging, her. He'd work over his normal hours and ask favours from other specialists. Even after she woke up, Galder did his best to support her recovery.

The unexpected lack of recovery in her legs hit him hard. After surviving from something like that, it would be unreasonable for her to lose something as precious as the ability to walk. Thinking that, Galder started doing research on the subject on his own. He consulted other doctors he knew, did all he could, yet in the end there was not much he could do.

_Nothing...Is there nothing I can do for her?_ It was frustrating to him, both as a doctor and as a human being, to watch such a thing, yet not be able to do anything. Still, he did what he could, working on rehabilitation programs among other things, all for the young girl, who had survived something no other person would have.

Galder knew that statistically, the chances for her to ever walk again, much less in the next few years, were minimal, but he kept reminding himself, that the girl had already once surpassed the human limits, surviving against impossible odds. If it had happened once, who were to say it couldn't happen again. And so he clung to that small hope, and continued on his work.

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It had been a month since the accident, and Galder had yet to tell Nanoha that she might never walk again. Ever since Fate's first visit, Nanoha had been getting visitors on a daily basis, Fate coming almost every day and Hayate as often as her work allowed.

Vita had also visited Nanoha a few times, but since she always broke into tears, Hayate had seen it wiser to forbid her to go see Nanoha until she could smile throught the visit. Chrono and Yuuno had sent her flowers and cards, as they could only visit every now and then because of their work.

Now, it was finally almost time for Nanoha's walking rehabilitation to begin. Galder had been reluctant of telling the girl about her legs' serious condition, despite his words to Fate way back. But he knew that it could no longer be kept in the dark. The girl had the right to know.

She had already started working on her arms, having been training them almost daily for a week now. So if she was to start her walking rehabilitation, she had the right to know that it might all prove useless. That's what he kept telling himself, as he approached his patient's room.

While walking down the corridor on which Nanoha's room was in, Galder was stopped by a voice from behind, "Doctor Galder!" He turned around to face the blond girl, who had been regularly visiting his patient. "Fate-san. Are you here to visit your friend again?" Fate nodded. "I heard, she's going to start walking rehabilitation soon, so I thought I'd come and cheer her on."

Galder thought for a moment and then said, "Very well, I guess having you near when she hears the details might make it easier for her." Fate looked shocked and hissed to him in a low voice, "You still haven't told her?!?" Galder was stood firm under her gaze. "I thought it best to tell her when she was ready to start the rehabiliatation. It also gave her time to adjust to the situation, before going and telling her something like that."

Fate sighed, "Well, I guess it would've been too much when she was still recovering from the initial shock, but..." Galder quickle turned and continued walking towards Nanoha's room. "Well, it'll all be up to her from now on."

Nanoha was doing light exercises with her hands using small weights as Galder entered the room along with Fate. "Ah, Galder-san, Fate-chan, good morning!"

"Morning, Nanoha." Fate's replied with a soft voice as she walked over to Nanoha's bed.

"Well, how is my favourite patient doing? Working hard as always, I see." Galder gave the girl in the bed an encouraging smile. Nanoha nodded with a bright smile. "Yeah."

She turned to Fate, who had suddenly taken her hand and was now holding it tightly. "Fate-chan? Is something wrong?" Fate couldn't bear to watch her friend in the eye, and seeing how it was turning out Galder called to Nanoha. "Nanoha, I have something important to tell you. Please listen to me closely, and try to stay calm."

Nanoha could sense his tenseness, and tried to brace herself for what was to come. "What...what is it?" Her voice sounded so quiet and, at the moment, she looked so fragile that Fate was afraid she might just break into pieces.

"Now that we're about to move to your walking rehabilitation, there is something you should know." Galder started with a neutral voice. "As you probably know, just surviving from that accident was quite a miracle. However, your body suffered serious injuries, and even though most of them have already healed, there have been some complications..."

Nanoha had a puzzled look on her face, not quite understanding what he was talking about. "Um...What kind of complications?" She asked, knowing she would probably not like the answer. "One part of your body has not started recovering as fast as the others. In fact, there has not been much improvement since you were brought here. I am, of course, talking about your legs."

As Nanoha turned her gaze to her legs, Galder continued: "We're ready to start the rehabilitation for your legs in order to force the recovery, but there is something you should know." Nanoha turned her attention back to Galder from her legs, "Something...I should know?" "Yes, something you should know..."

Galder gave Fate a meaningful look, and turned back to face Nanoha while Fate tightened her hold on Nanoha's hand. "Even if you go through the rehabilitation, it is not certain if your legs will ever be back to the way they were. In fact, it is highly possible that you might never walk again. Do you still wish to go through with it?"

Hearing Galder's words, all color started draining from Nanoha's face, and her eyes were looking at him, pleading him to tell her he was just joking, that what had just been said was not true. She waited. No one laughed.

_He's serious...He's really serious!_ Nanoha's mind was screaming, even as her head was doing it's best to comprehend what she had just been told. "Nanoha..." Fate was now gripping her friends hand as hard as she could, but Nanoha was too shocked to even notice it.

_I'm...never going to be able to walk again? Never? But that would mean..._ That's when it hit her. Not being able to even walk, how could she ever fly again? She very nearly screamed the thought out, but held herself back at the very last moment.

_Wait! I can't worry Fate-chan with this...This is my dilemma._

Even as her own emotions were raging within her, she was still conscious enough to worry about her friend. So she gathered all her inner strength and put on a brave smile. "It'll be okay, Fate-chan. I can do it. I'll definitely walk again."

Seeing Nanoha acting brave was making mince-meat out of Fate's heart. She couldn't think of anything to say to cheer her friend, nothing at all. Even though Nanoha was wearing a smile, Fate had known her for long enough to be able to tell how she was really feeling.

_Is there nothing I can do for her?!?_ Seeing her friend suffering behind a smile was worse than anything she had ever experienced before. She would've done anything to ease her friends pain, if only she knew what.

Nanoha, even as she was keeping up a brave face, was silently fighting against the tears that were working their way to her eyes. Not wanting to worry Fate or Galder, or perhaps it was just her not wanting to show any weaknesses, asked them to leave.

"Um, Fate-chan, doctor Galder, could you...let me be alone for a while. This is all so sudden, and I need a while to think it through." The two knew without asking, what the real reason behind her words was. They knew it, yet there was nothing they could do about it, but allow her to let it all out, alone. And so they reluctantly left her behind in the small room.

After the they were gone and Nahoha was left alone in the now dark room, she finally let the tears out. She had thought she was getting better, that she could soon fly the skies again, even. Now she had been told she might never be able to fly again.

She curled up, tears flowing down her cheeks, wetting the bedsheets. Her body was shaking uncontrollably, which caused sharp pain to her legs, but she hardly noticed it. She tried not to think about flying, but the harder she tried, the more memories of flying flooded her memory, causing the young girl unimaginable pain.

After some time, the tears started to dry, and her body stopped shaking. She was now too exhausted to even cry anymore, and could only stare blankly at the room's ceiling. The pain at her legs was getting more intense now that she was no longer too preoccupied with her sorrow to feel it. But for some reason the pain, even though intense, felt strangely distant, as if it was someone else's pain.

Nanoha found it strangely funny, despite the situation she was in. _It's like I'm not even me anymore..._ she thought, her mind dangerously swaying between sanity and madness. It wasn't long until her worn-out mind gave away under the stress and the girl drifted off to peaceful sleep, escaping the cruelty of reality in the world of dreams, where she could still fly unrestricted...

When Nanoha woke up the following morning, she felt suprisingly refreshed, despite the shock she had experienced just yesterday. Her resolve had built up during her sleep, and now there was only one thing left in her mind.

_No matter how slight the chances, no matter how impossible it feels...I want to fly again!! I can't just give up without even trying!_

And so, when Galder came to visit her, Nanoha had her answer. She would go through the rehabilitation, no matter what. And, she thought to herself, _I will fly again!_ That marked the beginning of the young girl's struggle towards her goal, towards the sky.

But what a thorny path full of hardships that would be...

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This chapter was originally supposed to be about Nanoha's rehabilitation, but... Anyway, the rehabilitation will start for real in the next (and final) chapter. Until then.

P.S. I would've liked to use medical terms and such, but since my medical knowledge is very limited...


	4. Chapter 3: Phoenix

And here we are, the last chapter. I had slight trouble with some parts, but overall I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out.

Oh, and I also made some changes here and there, like changing the first chapter into a prologue and making corrections to the other chapters. I had made some stupid blunders here and there, but I hope I got most them.

Enjoy.

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**Chapter 3: Phoenix**

"Nnnggg-aah!" Nanoha flinched and gritted her teeth as the searing pain shot through her legs which made her reflexively shift all her weight back to her arms.

She shivered for a moment, her hands shaking, trying to support her whole weight on the wooden parallel bars.

It had been a month since she had first begun her rehabilitation, but during that time there had been no significant progress. She still couldn't put any more weight on her feet than in the beginning.

The rehabilitation program doctor Galder had made for her consisted of three parts.

First, there was the real deal, the walking practice on the parallel bars.

She was supposed to support herself with her arms, while gradually putting more and more stress on her legs in order to strengthen them. But instead of her legs, so far only her arms had gained any strength.

Then there was also the leg massage, which had not only proven ineffective but also extremely painful for her. Since it hadn't seemed to have any positive effect, Galder had quickly discarded it from the training menu.

Lastly, the doctor had arranged for her physiotherapical sessions, but even those did nothing to promote to the girl's recovery.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today." Galder said while walking up to her.

She, on the other hand, could only nod while the doctor helped her down to the wheelchair. Another day...Another failure.

"Hey, don't be so down. I'm sure tomorrow will go better. We've only just started, after all." She knew he was just trying to cheer her up, but the words still rang hollow to her ears. For a month now, she had been waking up in good spirits, ready to work her way back to the sky, only to be brought down by the unbearable pain from her legs.

She could still remember how full of hope she had been on that first morning of rehabilitation.

_-------------------------------------------- Flashback __-------------------------------------------_

"_Mmmm-mm." Nanoha slowly opened her eyes to find her body wasn't aching at all. She couldn't remeber such a thing having happened a single time since she first woke in this very same bed after the incident. Not even her legs were hurting which was most suprising. _

_First she thought that maybe she was still dreaming, but no, she most certainly was awake. This must be a good omen, she thought to herself when she remember what day it was._

_Yes, today would be the first day of her rehabilitation. I'm going to do my best. That was the uppermost thought in her mind._

_And so she waited in the dark room for Galder to show up, anxious to get out of the bed for the first time in what had felt like ages._

_When the door then finally opened, Nanoha was almost ready to burst from all the energy flowing inside her._

"_Galder-san. I'll do it! I'll do the rehabilitation!" She didn't even give the doctor a chance to go through their everyday routines, like asking her how she was doing and such._

"_Ah!" His suprise soon turned to a smile. "I see you've thought it through. Glad to see such resolve. It will be a great help in the next few months. It won't be easy, you know."_

"_I know...But I can't give up. I still want to fly. I **need** to fly!"_

"_Is that so? Then I'll do my best to see you fly again, too." His smile warmed Nanoha's heart and eased her resurfaced worries._

"_Shall we get going then? Milae, bring it." At his words, the nurse, who had become quite familiar to Nanoha during her stay in the hospital, came into the room with a wheelchair._

"_I had this prepared for when you'd be ready to get up from the bed. It's easy to control, so you should be able to use it on your own, too. You can use it, if you want to go somewhere when there's no rehabilitation."_

"_Okay. Thank you, doctor Galder!" She flashed a bright, genuine smile, something she hadn't done since that accident_

"_Well then, off we go." Galder said in a cheerful voice, while helping Nanoha sit into the wheelchair._

_----------------------------------------End of Flashback---------------------------------------------------------- _

Everything after that point had been downhill for her. The first attempt at putting any weight on her feet had almost broken her fighting spirit altogether. Never in her life had she experienced such pain as then, and she was fairly certain she never would.

She hadn't given up, though, and had continued the rehabilitation with tears in her eyes, not willing to admit defeat. But for all the pain and suffering she had went through, there had been no improvement in her condition which hurt the young girl even more.

Instead of hope, the rehabilitation had only offered her more reason for despair.

Without the support from her friends, she would surely have given up within a week of the rehabilitation's start. But with the help of those important to her, she kept struggling, chasing after the fleeting ray of hope.

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The rehabilitation for the day had ended and Nanoha was now resting in her bed.

Today hadn't been any better for her than any other day, in fact it just might've been worse.

Still, after the pain in her feet from earlier had slowly faded away, she got up and struggled into the wheelchair._ Doctor Galder shouldn't be coming until much later..._ With that thought in mind, she slowly guided the wheelchair out of the room.

For a week now, she had been doing her own personal training on top of the everyday rehabilitation. But even with the increased exercising, there hadn't been any progress. Nothing.

Regardless, the young girl made her way to the training hall on her wheelchair, trying to forget all the other times like this, all of which had ended up in her tears. Tears and despair.

Since the hall had been reserved solely to her use for the duration of the rehabilitation, she could use it anytime without having to worry about interruptions.

The parallel bars were in the middle of the hall as always, and the girl went straight to them. Then, using her arms she lifted her body up from the wheelchair and onto the bars.

_Please let it work this time...Please!_ The girl prayed silently while mentally preparing herself for the pain she knew was coming. Then, squeezing the bars with her hands, she slowly lowered her body letting her feet slightly touch the ground.

_Here we go..._ She shifted some of her weight from her arms to legs. For a moment, she felt nothing. Her eyes widened. _Eh?! It doesn't...hur-!_

Then it hit her. The pain shooting through her legs was so sudden and intense that she lost her grip on the bars, falling down on her legs which made her scream in pain as she very nearly lost consciousness.

Lying down in the cold floor, tears welling up in her eyes, the girl couldn't hold back her sobs. Her legs were burning with pain, but even that could not compare to what she was feeling in her heart. The fall from thinking you'd finally succeeded to that of failing more miserably than ever was indeed infinitely more painful than just failing. It was nearly unbearable.

When she could finally think straight again, she crawled up to the wheelchair. _It's no use..._ Her thoughts were cloaked in darkness as she left the hall. She was so out of it that she didn't even notice a familiar figure leaning against the fall before it spoke.

"Nanoha. I know you want to get better as soon as you can, but aren't you overdoing it a little?" The stern tone somehow sounded very familiar.

Nanoha lifted her teary eyes to see Galder's serious face. She quickly wiped away the tears before answering.

"But there's been no progress at all! It's already been over two months, too. If...if I don't work on my own, I might never walk again!" Nanoha's sudden outburst shocked Galder enough for him to realize just how much the girl must have been suffering on her own.

"Just because there has been no visible progress does not mean there has been no progress! Moreover, if you overdo it, it might end up hindering your recovery! You should know better than anyone the dangers of overdoing it!" Galder knew he must've sounded harsh, but it was all for the girl's own best.

"You...knew?" Nanoha's expression was a mix of anxiety and guilt.

"Of course, I am your doctor after all. And I'm not telling you not to exercise on your own, but you must not overdo it. Understand?!"

Nanoha knew he wouldn't compromise over this, so she had no choice but to agree.

"Yes...I'll be more careful from now on."

"Good girl. Now, have you eaten anything yet? No? Well then, what say we get you something good to eat?" His smile couldn't erase the darkness in Nanoha's mind, but it did manage to lift her spirits a little. "Yes!"

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That night was another of the many the girl had experienced in the last two months. Her body and mind were exhausted, but the pulsating pain in her legs kept her awake.

During those kinds of nights, it is natural for the mind, forced to stay awake, to start wandering. And the thoughts that come up seldom are pleasant ones. One tends to wonder their reason for living, among other things. It was that kind of a night.

_Maybe...maybe it's really impossible. Perhaps my struggling is all in vain. Futile. _Tears started wetting her eyes and all of a sudden, she felt a surge of loneliness pass through her chest.

_Fate-chan...Hayate-chan, Yuuno-kun, Chrono-kun, Arisa-chan and Suzuka-chan. __Mother and Father... I want to see them. Sob... I want to see them all...Sob._

The girl tried to supress the tears, calm down, but once the night gets to you, there's no escape. She was already trapped in the darkness, powerlessly struggling against it.

And just like all such nights before this one, the girl succumbed to her own misery, her suffering, her anxiety and helplessness. But, like nightmares, those nights last only for as long as the victim stays within their influence.

And once the spell has been broken, only a faint memory will remain. In time, even the memory shall be forgotten, leaving nothing behind as a reminder. And another dawn will come, and with it the new strength to struggle towards your dreams.

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It was one of the few free days Nanoha had been given since the start of her rehabilitation and she was enjoying the short break by reading some shoujo manga that Fate had brought to her as a present on one of her frequent visits.

It was a romantic story about a young girl who was summoned to another world by mistake. The girl, without a way back to her own world, then ended up tangled in the kingdom's politics and fell in love with a handsome rogue named Cail, who was actually the prince of another kingdom in disguise.

Then there was the travelling bard who had fallen for the girl and a group of justice-driven mercenaries who were planning a rebellion against the king, who had recently turned corrupt due to the influence of an evil sorcerer posing as the king's advisor.

And now the girl, whose name was Elysia, had just confessed to the man she believed to be Cail, but who was in reality an assasin, disguised as Cail, sent to kill her, when someone knocked on the door effectively ruining the mood.

"Yes?" Although she tried hard to conceal it, her voice still gave away her irritation of having been interrupted.

The door opened and a familiar face came into Nanoha's view. "Chrono-kun! You came to see me?" Her voice immediately turned into a happy tone when she saw the visitor. "It's been a while since your last visit."

"Sorry...I really tried, but work just kept piling up." The boy apologetically shook his head. Then he suddenly smiled, "But...", and revealed a huge rose bouquet from behind his back. "...I brought this as an apology." He then proceeded to hand the bouquet to the brown haired girl, whose cheeks were turning slightly pinkish.

"You, you really didn't have to, you know..." She eyed the bouquet, smelled it, and felt like maybe everything just might work out after all. "Thanks, Chrono-kun."

This time it was Chrono's turn to blush bright red. He tried to hide his embarrassment by turning sideways and coughing, but this only worked to further draw the girl's attention to him.

"Chrono-kun, are you alright? You haven't caught a flu or anything, have you?" Somehow, this reminded Chrono an awful lot of his mother which wasn't exactly a good thing coming from his first crush.

"I'm fine. But more importantly, are you okay? How's the rehabilitation going?"

It was the most basic of tactics, diverting the attention from yourself by turning it to someone else.

"Ehheh...Not too well, in fact." The brown haired girl answered nervously fingering her hair. "Or more like there's been no progress so far..." Her voice wavered a little at the end of that last sentence.

"..."

Chrono had heard it wasn't going well, but he hadn't known that there'd been no progress at all. Hearing it straight from the patient herself, he had no idea what to say.

He knew staying silent wouldn't exactly help, but he thought it would be better than carelessly saying something that might further hurt the girl, as vulnerable as she currently was.

"It's okay, Chrono-kun. It's only been two and half months. If I just keep doing my best, then..." Her voice trailed off and Chrono knew he had to say something or else the situation would certainly get out of hands.

"Th-that's right, Nanoha! If you just believe in yourself and don't give up, then anything's possible!" He gave the girl his best 'I-know-it'll-be-alright' smile, hoping she'd take the bait.

"Y-yeah. You're right. I can't give up now!" A forced smile came to her lips and she looked Chrono right into the eyes, making him blush furiously.

"Thanks, Chrono-kun. I'm really glad you came to see me today." This made Chrono's face turn even redder, if possible, but it also eased his heart to see Nanoha's determination back.

Chrono stayed with Nanoha for a while longer after that and after he left, Nanoha had regained her lost fighting spirit. She knew she couldn't just give up after seeing her friends go into such lenghts to support her.

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It had been four months since the beginning of the rehabilitation, when the first signs of progress finally sprung forth and by the fifth month Nanoha could already walk from one end of the parallel bars to the other with only minimal support from her hands.

And now, after half a year of struggling, the fated day had finally arrived. The day Nanoha had been fervently waiting for. The day she would return to the sky, where she belonged.

The rehabilitation was now officially over and she could walk, and even run, almost normally. Moreover, Galder had finally permitted her to try flying.

Thr girl was brimming with excitement as they were nearing the area reserved just for this occasion. Galder had, naturally, demanded to be to there for Nanoha's first flight since the accident, but both Fate and Hayate had also insisted on partaking in it. And so the four of them were, Nanoha in lead, on their way to the designated place.

Nanoha was humming happily and her two best friends were also in a great mood. Even Galder was smiling as he watched the three young girls in such high spirits.

Truth be told, Galder had had his doubts throughout the rehabilitation, but now that it was over he was glad he had seen it through to the end. It was also clear to him that he would never forget this particular case, where a girl who should have died by all accounts not only survived but fully recovered as well.

Nanoha was already impatiently waiting for the others when they reached the small training area where Nanoha's flying session would take place. "Gee, hurry up!"

Her voice was annoyed but her eyes were shining and her smile was as bright as ever.

"Come now, Nanoha-chan, what's the rush?" Hayate reprimanded the brown haired girl, even though she knew how much she'd been waiting for this.

"True, true." Galder backed Hayate up. "You've been waiting for this moment for over six months, what's a few more minutes to that?"

"I know that...But still!" The anxiety showing on her face quickly won over the hearts of those around her.

"Okay, okay...But first," Galder said with a sigh, "Are you feeling fine?"

"I'm fine! Never been better." Nanoha impatiently replied pleading Galder with her eyes. "So...can I?"

"Haahhh...yes, go on ahead." Galder could understand the girl's enthusiasm, but it also made him feel old. Still, he was relieved to see her slowly rising into the air with no problems.

As soon as she had risen a few meters, a radiant smile formed on her lips. She turned to where her friends were standing, waving at them happily. "Look, Fate-chan, Hayte-chan, I'm flying!"

Then, with her newfound confidence, she took off higher and tried some simple maneuvers in the air. As she slowly started remembering the feeling of flying, her body started taking over and the maneuvers began getting increasingly complex.

Seeing no problems with anything, Galder decided to give the girls some time together, knowing they'd contact him if anything should happen. Not that he expected any troubles now that the rehabilitation was over.

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As Fate watched her friend happily flying, tears started to well up in her eyes. This time, though, they were the tears of joy that ran down her cheeks. Then, suddenly, she thought she saw...something alongside her flying friend. _Is that a..._

"Phoenix." The voice came from behind her. As she turned towards it, she found Hayate standing there beside her, also tears in her eyes, but at the same time smiling brightly. "A mythical bird of fire, from the world Nanoha-chan and I come from."

"Phoe...nix?" The blonde wiped her eyes from the tears, and turned back to where their friend was still maneuvering in the air. Her eyes widened in suprise.

There was a clear image of a blazing bird overlapping with Nanoha. It's feathers shone in the bright daylight, rapidly changing color from golden all the way to the color of blood. It was truly a magnificent sight.

"It is said," Hayate's started in a soft voice. "That when the time comes for the Phoenix to die, it burns itself to ashes, and from those very ashes a new Phoenix is born."

A silence.

"If you think about it...It's just like what Nanoha-chan went through. When the sky was lost to her, she might as well have died. But she didn't give up. She worked her way back to the sky, just like a newborn Phoenix would, through pure effort and willpower. And now look at her. It's like she's been reborn. She's shining so brightly it's as if she was born to grace the skies with her presence."

Fate couldn't have agreed more. That day, Nanoha really was radiating like never before, surrounded by a heavenly aura. "Yeah..." It was all there was to say. They both knew exactly what their friend had been through, and just how much she must have yearned for this day.

"She is..."

"...our Phoenix."

They smiled at each other and took off into air to join their dearest friend in the vast, blue skies.

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And so...it's finally over! My first fanfic is finally done. It feels kinda great. Okay, really great!

But yeah, this last chapter turned out quite different from what I had originally thought. I'd say the thing I was most suprised about was the way the Chrono scene changed from the original concept. It became totally different, and much less dark, than I had planned it. And the scene before Chrono comes in, where Nanoha's reading manga? I had so much fun writing that. I mean, I even got to make up a plot (okay not so much a plot, as an overview) for a manga book. I also loved writing the end (I actually wrote it before I was even halfway through the rest of the chapter...), which should explain the story's name quite well.

And as always, reviews are more than welcome.


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